Erotic Spirituality

There is nothing in this world that is unspiritual . Every creature, living thing and the seemingly dead items are being enwrought by Creator Consciousness in a more or less expanded version of Itself .
Sexual Energy when being recognized as Spirit includes our highest Potencial for Selfrealization .
Eros is an energetic potencial bringing us into relationship with Nature, Language, Art and the world itself.
Without Eros there would be no mysticism ,  no devotion in any kind of religion .
It is the driving force behind our urge for Oneness.

As Platon said , Eros is the God who brings  the creative mind into Being.
Eros calls forth the aspiration for knowingness , passionately looking for Union with truth .
The passionate search for ( Re) Union is what makes us drive & thrive,  deep down within  we know about our Oneness with all there is , and we want to experience it ! 

While riding the wave back to the Sire (de -sire ) ; physical union is only one way to come to gether in Spirit . We can use our bodies for the purpose of Union, still for the majority of Beings we come into contact with, Union through awareness is to be prefered.

As we realize that our Life energy shows itself in our bodies through our Sexual energy , we can simply stop  hindering the current from its natural circulation . The essential tool here is our breath . As soon as we remind Ourselves to breathe into whatever comes up , fear , anxiety , the need to look away ,to talk nonesence ..we allow o be devoured by Oneness itself .

One of the most painful moments for me, while sharing this world with my Brothers and Sisters come up when Individuals deny our bond and prefer to insist on seperation.
Than I call upon the words of Byron Katie ” I’m very clear that everyone in the world loves me. I just don’t expect them to realize it yet .. ” 


























I love cemeteries , especially here in Paris , but I never go there when I am really happy .

In 2011 I came to Paris for  the first time, without being there before I decided to move over from Germany . It was clear to me that I will live in the area of Montmartre . Until two weeks before my departure I did not find  an Appartement and I wasn’t worried at all . I was so excited  of my vision,  there was no space for doubt . And then  a friend of mine , a french girl studying in Germany , send me a message .

I was living for some month in an amazing house on the top of butte de Montmartre , for almost no costs . I popped into a beautiful neighborhood , it seemed as if everything was already arranged for me . I met my  future roommate & best friend on the trip to there, and in the first week I got into contact with those people who inspired me the most throughout the time . In front of my room was a plant named ” Pachysandra ” waiting for me . The parents of the boy who went abroad were a well-known actor and the former director of one of the biggest Theater in Paris . I was welcomed with open arms . I did not know anybody there before , there was no plan , no safety . I just knew that life is backing me up .

After six month I left the city . I came back to Germany with a heart full of guilt & pain and with no cash in my pockets . Did I fail ?

I came to Paris as an Artist . I quitted acting school in Germany , to find a place where my temperament would fit in . And to escape from my past . But I buried my drama in a huge cellar in the city where I grew up ,  and there was no way around than to  come back and dissolve it .

I dared to live my desires and to leave those behind who were afraid to do the same. I felt responsible for their suffering and sacrificed myself once more and  pretended to be a good girl willing to behave properly this time . I spend two years of grief and deep depression. The dark night of the soul overpowered me until I realized that in order to live I have to get the hell out and make an end to my victimhood.

Yes, I faced my demons . And they are still there . Thank God , cause everything that exists has its worth and until it is valued  it will chase and find us , wherever we go , til we share a little bit of our love with them . ” You  will die if you let go of your old belief system” they whisper. They are so afraid , these screwy little children of mine ,but they do not know what is love , these poor creatures , so I do my best to shed some  light to this demonish  aspect of mine starving for love .

I was convinced, that if I succeed in life , someone else will terribly suffer . So no matter how the universe showed off with opportunities & Angels on my way , I could not accept them  , my hands were full of old stories  I was terrified of  leaving behind . Who would I be without them ?

Since one year I am living in Paris again. I became successful , very much so . But not as an Artist , well can’t say that exactly, cause I am performing my work very artistically . I became a Sex worker , or  call it sexual healer . I started as a tantric Massage therapist in Germany and ended up with an  erotic Massage agency in Paris until I established my independent   clients for tantric sexual therapy . I became a star  in my field . Not in the work I desired to be , but  where I believed deserving to be .

Whenever I am at Montmartre I feel pain , as if Paris was withholding something , that I am not worth of having . Oh, yes I had a  hot chat with my demon friends today . I am about to end the chapter of the sacred prostitute, so they  try to survive   with ” who do you think you are doing what you love ” , ” there are people who need you ” …  bla bla bla

My pic of today is on the cemetery of  Montmartre , I am in a form of Synergetic Energy Exchange . We are sharing our love , hopefully realizing that we are one . The light and the absence of it .


Au revoir & Namasté



” Howsoever deep is the dark , it is going to vanish …”

Can’t wait ..!

I have been listening to the teachings of “Abraham Hicks ” for about one year , almost every day . I registered for the upcoming workshop and I expected  to “know it all ” afterwards. To have my inner light of knowledge constantly burning and not to be lost in feelings of despair again …But I found myself yet another time navigating through the dark corridors of my negative believes .

 Unworthy,  deep down  to the guts.  A huge gap between my desires and the  reality that is manifested around . With the conclusion that there must be something damn  wrong and bad with me when what I want is not here . And  as I would never ever create such bad circumstances for myself it also must be someone else who is doing that stuff to me.!  Some kind of external power  ,  I can not defeat , no matter how hard I try , and oh how  I was trying to please others and “be a good girl”, I gave up my dreams , immersed into a work of selfless service ,  I sacrificed what ever ( I thought ) was wanted and yet I was not allowed  to play….

 Los Angeles, the day of the workshop , in essence about the Law of Attraction ( That which is like unto itself, is drawn ). I felt so ill ! So  sick and negative . And than those people who were greeting each other with  big smiles, and phrases swirling around , ” All is well ”  & ” Things are always working out  ” .  My goodness …! But,  like  anywhere else in life, I was at a vibrational gathering , all answers were for me , and all questions were my questions . The tears of those who  were raising their voice on stage, melted down the walls of resistance and protection of lots of us, while being remembered of how we were ment to fulfill our desires and be selfish enough to do what feels good .

My subconsciousness knew what was waiting for me, and my mind was freaking out.  I was not in ease , but in dis  – ease .!  The night before I was dreaming of my father, who passed away a year ago , and in my dream a group accused him of some kind of sexual contact with minor girls, they wanted to take him away . Me, convinced of his innocence, wanted  to save him, My Dad was so cool , as he was saying to me  ” I am fine with leaving , just let me go  “

When I was younger,my father was my taxi driver,  always available without any conditions . As I  arrived at my appartement in Los Angeles , and took a seat at a bistro right at the corner of the street , a  beautiful white Limousine drove into the parking. The Man, inquiring about my lunch and asking if he could have a seat next to me.  That was the beginning of a friendship with Charles , who runs his own airport taxi service in LA . He drove me to the workshop at about seven in the morning , coming from his home that was one and a half hour away from mine . He picked me up from the gathering . On the day of my departure from LA to the airport ,he was at my place before sunrise,  working  during the night… he just rented a hotel room to have a shower and he didn’t want me to pay anything for that service .

I was  not forgotten and neither not taken care of , no matter where and with whom on earth I would be . Charles told me about his dreams , we were singing in the car and listening to Jazz music while moving our bodies to the beat . I saw his passion for dance , and heard his amazing jazzy voice .He could not believe when I told him that it is right to please himself , he was flashed like a child  that receives a great gift.

I would never come to experience a level of despair if I would not know deep  inside that I am so much more . And how I know it in times, I feel it so much that the absence of its manifestation freaks me out. But the only reason I do not have it tangible in my experience is because I think I do not deserve it . That is the big secret behind all unfulfilled desires . No matter the subject .

And the great magic of having, touching and living those desires is to feel them emotionally  before  having them ! . Not only for a few moments but over a certain  period of time .  You start to expect the fulfillment of your wishes cause you know that your worth is a natural given. You know that you are adored by life and that universe itself is rejoicing with your expansion and fulfillment ,  now imagine that !

The suffering comes with  forgetfulness . If we would know who we are we would enjoy the ride immensely and appreciate all those “unwanted” things that bring us into  clearer focus of that so badly wanted stuff.

Can it be that simple , that we just have to follow our good feelings in life to be happy ? So , the only “hard” work in order to achieve happiness is therefore,  being willing enough to make my feelings the highest priority?

Yes .Go with one good feeling thought and the next one and  next.. until you burst with passion and joy and an energy that is illuminating. Whenever I  start to follow my inner guidance , I realize the power that creates worlds, that is stored inside, pouring from my guts and lightening towards my head , waiting to ride with me . On fire , my juices are flowing . I do not feel hunger or thirst or any other physical needs ,only inspiration that is leading my actions . One impulse following  the next,  culminating  & calming down until you  ride the wave of ecstasy  with  trust, even when darkness still exists around you .

So , why not bring our juices into circulation and  listen to the good sounding feelings inside of us ? It would be such a petty to miss all the good stuff here on earth, cause that’ s what we came for …Can we dare to be that selfish ?

with love

Sandra Kokic